Al-Sharḥ al-Mumtiʿ - Ibn al-'Uthaymin - (12/66)

without her permission, and no previously married woman is to be married without being consulted.” (1)

His statement, peace and blessings be upon him, “is not to be married,” is declarative in wording but prohibitive in meaning. The Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, stated that she is not to be married, but what he meant was that she must not be married except with her permission. A previously married woman must be consulted.

The difference between seeking permission and consulting her is that, when seeking permission, she may be told, for example: “So-and-so, son of so-and-so, has proposed to you,” and his qualities, character, and financial means are mentioned to her; then she either remains silent or refuses. Consulting her, on the other hand, means seeking her view, for it derives from mutual consultation, as Allah the Exalted says:

“And consult together in kindness.” [Surah al-Talaq 65:6]

And He says:

“Indeed, the eminent ones are conferring about you.” [Surah al-Qasas 28:20]

Thus, her opinion is sought, because she has experienced marriage and her shyness has diminished; therefore, it is necessary to consult her.

He then explained permission by saying: “It is the silence of the virgin and the spoken response of the previously married woman.” “The silence of the virgin” means her remaining silent, while “the spoken response of the previously married woman” means that she says: “Yes, I accept.”

His words, “the silence of the virgin,” apparently apply even if she cries or laughs. If she laughs, it is apparent that she is pleased. If she cries, however, the jurists say that this does not indicate that she is displeased; rather, it may indicate her acceptance, and that she cried because of parting from her parents, once she realized that marriage would mean leaving them. It therefore does not indicate unwillingness.

What they have said has some basis, but concerning crying in particular, it should be said: if the surrounding indication shows that her crying signifies dislike of the marriage, then it is

(1) Its source has been cited previously, p. 51.

البكر حتى تستأذن ولا تنكح الأيم حتى تستأمر» (١). فقوله ﷺ: «لا تنكح» خبر بمعنى النهي؛ لأن الرسول ﷺ أخبر بأنه لا تنكح، لكن مراده النهي عن أن تنكح إلا بإذنها، والثيب تستأمر، والفرق بين الاستئذان والاستئمار، أن الاستئذان أن يقال لها مثلاً: خطبك فلان بن فلان، ويذكر من صفته وأخلاقه وماله، ثم تسكت أو ترفض، وأما الاستئمار فإنها تشاور؛ لأنه من الائتمار لقوله تعالى: ﴿وَأْتَمِرُوا بَيْنَكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ﴾ [الطلاق: ٦]، وقوله: ﴿إِنَّ الْمَلأَ يَأْتَمِرُونَ بِكَ﴾ [القصص: ٢٠] فهي تُشاور؛ وذلك لأنها عرفت النكاح، وزال عنها الحياء، فكان لا بد من استئمارها. ثم فسَّر الإذن بقوله: «وهو صمات البكر ونطق الثيب» «صمات البكر» أي: سكوتها، «ونطق الثيب» أي: أن تقول: نعم، رضيت. وقوله: «صمات البكر»، ظاهر كلامه ولو بكت أو ضحكت، أما إذا ضحكت فظاهر أنها راضية، وأما إذا بكت فالفقهاء يقولون: إن هذا لا يدل على عدم الرضا، بل قد يدل على الرضا، وأنها بكت لفراق أبويها، لما عرفت أنها إذا تزوجت ستفارقهما، فلا يدل ذلك على الكراهة. وهذا الذي قالوه له وجهة نظر، لكن ينبغي أن يقال في البكاء خاصة: إن دلت القرينة على أن البكاء كراهة للزواج فهو

(١) سبق تخريجه ص (٥١).