to Allah. For perhaps he now considers this man a suitable match, but the man’s circumstances may change; and perhaps, when she reaches marriageable age, Allah will bring her a man better than him. For all matters are in the Hand of Allah.

This is a principle a person should follow in his statements and conduct: whenever the matter lies between safety and risk, safety is preferable. It is reported that Imam Ahmad said that he would not regard anything as equal to safety. Perhaps this is derived from the Prophet’s statement: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent.” (1) That is, if the good in what you are about to say is not clear to you, then your duty is to remain silent. Try it, and you will see: how many people have uttered a word and then said, “I wish I had not said it.” But if he keeps it in his heart, he has control over it; he can wait, and speak only when he finds that speaking is necessary. The same applies to actions: when one is undecided between acting and refraining, and it does not appear more likely that proceeding is better, then it is preferable to wait and proceed with deliberation until the matter becomes clear. How excellent is a person’s state when he applies this, for he will find immense peace.

The difference between our saying that a young boy may be married off by his father when it serves his interest, and our saying that a young girl should not be married off, is that the boy can free himself from his wife through divorce, whereas the wife cannot free herself.

But there is an issue here: if a woman chooses someone who is not a suitable match, her father is not obliged to obey her, and he incurs no sin. He may say, “I will not marry you to someone like—”