you find some people—may Allah protect us—who have a wife among the most beautiful of women, yet look at an ugly, disfigured woman, because Satan makes her appear beautiful in his eyes since she is unlawful for him. So when Satan makes her appear beautiful, and she herself also adorns and enhances her beauty, then after marriage he finds her to be other than he had imagined, there will surely be a bad outcome.
If it is asked: How can he most likely expect that his proposal will be accepted?
The answer is that Allah has made people ranks, as He, Exalted is He, says:
“We have apportioned among them their livelihood in the life of this world and raised some of them above others in degrees, so that some of them may take others in service.” [al-Zukhruf 43:32]
Thus, if a street sweeper were to propose to the daughter of a minister, it is most likely that his proposal would not be accepted. Likewise, if an elderly, chronically ill, deaf man were to propose to a young and beautiful girl, it is most likely that his proposal would not be accepted.
After mentioning the suitor, the author discusses the woman being proposed to: may a person propose to every woman? He says:
“It is unlawful to make an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman observing her waiting period following a death, or to a woman irrevocably divorced …”
“It is unlawful to make an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman observing her waiting period following a death, or to a woman irrevocably divorced.”
The difference between khiṭbah and khuṭbah is that khuṭbah is the address delivered by a speaker, such as the Friday sermon; whereas khiṭbah, with an i vowel on the letter khā’, means seeking a woman’s hand in marriage. Allah says:
“There is no blame upon you for hinting at a proposal of marriage to women.” [al-Baqarah 2:235]
His statement, “It is unlawful to make an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman observing her waiting period,” means that an explicit proposal is one that admits of no meaning other than marriage, such as saying: “I seek …”