Moreover, the potential harm is not confined to the mother. It may be caused by her maternal aunt, her sister, one of her relatives, or even someone unrelated to her, while her mother may be her protector, shielding her from those who would turn her against her husband.
“He may look, without seclusion, repeatedly at what ordinarily appears.”
His statement, “He may look, without seclusion, repeatedly at what ordinarily appears”: “he may” indicates permissibility, and the pronoun refers to one who wishes to propose marriage to a woman. Had he said, “the suitor may,” it would have been preferable and clearer; that is, whoever wishes to propose marriage to a woman may look … and so on.
The apparent meaning of the author’s words here is that looking at the woman one intends to marry is permissible, rather than something sought or recommended. They explained its permissibility on the grounds that it came after a prohibition; thus, it indicates permissibility—just as, according to most scholars of legal theory, a command that comes after a prohibition indicates permissibility. Yet scholars sometimes use wording that conveys permissibility in order to dispel the assumption that something is prohibited, not to establish that it is merely permissible. For example, in the chapter on Hajj, they say: “It is permissible for one performing qirān or ifrād to change to an umrah, thereby becoming one performing tamattuʿ,” even though this is sunnah.
The author of al-Furūʿ said: Perhaps they expressed it as being permissible in order to rebut those who hold that it is prohibited; this does not preclude it from being recommended. Thus, his statement here, “He may look,” may mean that the author used language indicating permissibility in order to dispel the assumption that it is prohibited; this does not preclude it from being recommended. Therefore, we say: It is sunnah for one who wishes to propose marriage to a woman to look at what ordinarily appears of her. If the author intended merely to dispel the assumption of prohibition, then there is no difficulty. But if he intended to establish the ruling of mere permissibility, then there is another view on the matter: that it is sunnah, and this is correct—unless a person knows her qualities without looking at her. For instance, if he sends a woman in whom he has complete trust, then there is no need for him to look.