Answer: This is permissible for three days or less, except in the case of a wife. She must observe mourning for the duration of her waiting period: four months and ten days if she is not pregnant; otherwise, until she gives birth if she is pregnant. The proof for this is the Prophet’s ﷺ saying: “It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for a deceased person for more than three days, except for her husband: four months and ten days.” (1)

This mourning is permitted for someone other than a wife in order to give the soul something that may alleviate the calamity. For when a person is afflicted and then suppressed by being told, “Go out and carry on as you were before,” the grief may remain in his heart. Hence, it is said that part of proper etiquette and upbringing with children is that, if a child wishes to cry, he should be allowed to cry for a short while so that he may find relief, for he releases what is in his heart. But if he is silenced, this will leave him inwardly repressed and emotionally constricted.

Question: Is it permissible to observe mourning in a manner that causes harm to oneself or one’s dependants—for example, if a man is a merchant and suspending his trade would impair his livelihood?

Answer: No. This is not permissible; rather, it is either disliked or prohibited.

It is prohibited to lament the deceased, wail, tear one’s garment, slap the cheek, and the like.

His statement, “It is prohibited to lament the deceased”: lamentation is to enumerate the deceased’s virtues using the particle of lamentation, namely, “wā,” such as saying, “O my master! O who will bring us food and drink? O who will take us out for recreation? O who will do such-and-such?”