This is the supplication of those endowed with understanding: “Our Lord, do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from Yourself. Surely You are the Ever-Giving.” [Al Imran]

His statement, “Forgive us and them”: forgiveness means concealing the sin while pardoning and overlooking it. Its etymology indicates this, for it is derived from mighfar, the headgear worn during battle to protect against arrows; it conceals and protects.

It is sunnah to offer condolences to one bereaved by death, ........

His statement, “It is sunnah to offer condolences to one bereaved by death”: a sunnah is that for which the one who does it is rewarded, while the one who leaves it is not punished.

Offering condolences means strengthening the bereaved person—that is, helping him bear the calamity. This is done by mentioning supplications and texts concerning the virtue of patience that will comfort him and make him forget the calamity. It does not mean coming to him and stirring up his grief—for example, coming to console him over his son and saying, “He was a righteous young man; how could death take him?” and similar remarks.

When they carried out Aqil ibn Ali ibn Aqil, one of the Hanbali jurists—who was a student of knowledge—and the people came out, a man stood up and cried out at the top of his voice: “O mighty minister! He has a very old father, so take one of us in his place. Indeed, we see you as one of the doers of good.” [Yusuf: 78] Ibn Aqil, may Allah have mercy on him, rebuked him and said, “Man, the Quran was revealed to soothe grief, not to provoke it; and these words of yours provoke grief.”