“Prepare food for the family of Jaʿfar, for there has come upon them that which occupies them.” (1)

The apparent meaning of the author’s words is that preparing food for the family of the deceased is a sunnah without qualification. However, the sunnah indicates that it is not recommended unconditionally; rather, it is recommended for those whom the calamity that has befallen them has occupied from preparing food, as indicated by his saying: “for there has come upon them that which occupies them.” When a person is struck by a great calamity, his mind and thoughts become overwhelmed, and he is unable to do anything.

Thus, the apparent implication of the stated reason is that, if nothing has come upon them to occupy them, then preparing food for them is not recommended.

Nevertheless, some people have gone to great excess in this matter, especially in outlying regions. When someone dies, they send many sheep as gifts to the deceased’s family; then the family cooks them for the people and invites them to eat. You then find that the home whose inhabitants have been struck by bereavement is like a wedding house: they light numerous lamps at night and set out many chairs. I have witnessed this myself.

There is no doubt that this is a reprehensible innovation. Are we commanded, when calamities strike, to seek material distractions that seal the heart, so that we forget the calamity as animals forget? We are commanded to find consolation in what Allah has guided us to say: “Indeed, to Allah we belong, and indeed to Him we will return.”